Every day, I wake up and I remind myself why I am doing what I’m doing…

It’s the first day of spring quarter. You would think after 1.5 years in college it would get easier, but nope. First day of every quarter I have the same thoughts, the same worries, the same fears. I tell myself everything will be fine, cause it will be. I remind myself why I am doing this, and I calm down.

It’s not just schooling though, it’s the other changes in life that I am making. Losing weight, living a healthier lifestyle, trying to be more responsible with many of the choices I make in life. These are all things that “grown up” people do every day. And then when they get to be about my age, they have a ‘mid-life crisis’, and throw it all out the window.

I’ve always been the kind of person who does things his own way, forges his own path, finds his own reasons. Multiple times in life I’ve been with women who have tried to change me. Women who tried to force me to do things differently, get different jobs, etc. The problem is, they tried to force me to do it with “Do it or I’m gone” attitudes. My response was always, “See ya.”

The trouble with change, is you can’t force someone to change. You can only make them want to change themselves. You can only give them the motivation. So these days, I give myself the motivation.

I weighed in today. 343.2 pounds. That’s 13.4 pounds down so far. And most of this is simply due to making better choices in life. Soda is cut waaaay down. Not completely gone, I still enjoy a soda now and then. Same things with all the other “bad foods”. I still enjoy them now and then, but it’s not a constant influx like it used to be.

One of the main things that I’ve learned about myself is that I cannot get down on myself simply because “I made a bad choice.” The reasoning behind this is simple. I’m a grown man, I made a choice. It doesn’t mean it is the end of the world. There are no cheat days for me. I simply make a choice when I want something, and am grown enough to understand what it means.

Life is good. I am in good spirits. I have a plan on what I want to achieve. I am striving to change, not because someone forced me to, but because I wanted to.

Thank you God for the ability to change.


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